180 Constipation Jokes and One Liners to 'get things moving'

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Let’s face it, constipation isn’t exactly a topic we love discussing, but there’s no reason we can’t have a little fun with it!

Whether you’re trying to lighten the mood after a long day or just need a good laugh, these 180 constipation jokes and one-liners will help you find the humor in an otherwise awkward situation.

From witty one-liners to puns that’ll have you groaning (pun intended), this collection is sure to keep you entertained as you work your way through it, no “backups” here!

180 Constipation Jokes and One Liners to ‘get things moving’

I have a great joke about constipation, but it’s still working its way out.
I went to the doctor for my constipation… but he told me to hold it.
Constipation: The feeling you just can’t let go of.
I told my friend a joke about constipation… but it didn’t go over very well.
I asked the doctor how to avoid constipation, and he said, “Try not to hold things in.”
Why don’t constipated people ever tell secrets? Because they just can’t let things go.
I’m not saying I have constipation, but I’ve had this joke stuck in my head for hours.
Constipation is like a bad comedian, sometimes, it just won’t come out.
I was feeling backed up, so I had to take a break and clear my schedule.
My doctor told me to get some exercise for my constipation… so I went straight to the gym.
I think I’m suffering from a bad case of “not-going-to-happen.”
I once tried to write a joke about constipation, but it just wasn’t moving.
I’d make a joke about constipation, but I’m worried it’ll be too hard to digest.
My constipation has its own punchline: it’s not coming out any time soon.
Who needs a plot twist when you’ve got constipation?
I’m feeling down today… probably because my digestive system is, too.
Trying to make a good joke about constipation? It’s all about timing.
The only thing that’s working right now is my sense of humor, stuck in a little log jam.
Why don’t constipation jokes ever take off? Because they don’t make the cut.
You know your joke’s in trouble when it’s got constipation.
I can’t tell if it’s constipation or just bad timing… either way, things aren’t flowing.
I wanted to tell you a funny constipation joke, but it’s really backing up.
Want to hear a joke about constipation? Sorry, it’s still stuck.
I couldn’t even get the joke to move, must be constipation.
My favorite constipation joke? “Never mind, it’ll pass.”
I’ve got a great idea for a constipation joke, but I just can’t seem to get it out.
The best part about constipation? It’s like a bad joke that you just can’t forget.
I think I’m suffering from constipation, my jokes just aren’t coming out right.
Constipation isn’t funny… but the jokes are backed up!
You know your jokes are backed up when they’re almost constipated.
A joke about constipation? Yeah, that’s still a work in progress.
Don’t worry, the constipation joke will eventually come out… eventually.
I had to cancel my stand-up show because I was suffering from constipation.
You can’t rush the perfect joke, especially when it’s constipated.
Constipation jokes don’t come easily, they have to be pushed out.
I think I’m a little constipated, my humor just isn’t coming out the way I want.
My constipation is like a bad script: no punchlines.
Who needs a good laugh when you’ve got constipation to keep things in check?
When the jokes are constipated, you have to force a laugh.
I tried to tell a constipation joke, but it was just too stuck in the middle.
There’s nothing worse than a constipated joke, except maybe the feeling itself.
Want to know the secret to constipated humor? A little push.
Constipation and bad jokes: they both need help to get things moving.
I tried to come up with a joke about constipation… but I couldn’t get it out in time.
They say humor is like digestion: sometimes it takes a little longer to come out.
A good constipation joke is one you can laugh about once it finally comes out.
My comedy routine is just like my digestion: it’s stuck.
I’d tell a constipation joke, but I’m afraid it’ll be too hard to handle.
Constipation jokes are like stubborn kids: they never want to go to bed.
You can always tell when the punchline has constipation, it takes longer to get there.
You can’t rush a good joke, but sometimes you wish you could with constipation.
If constipation were a joke, I’d be stuck on the punchline.
I made a joke about constipation, but it’s still making its way out.
Constipation: It’s a joke that’s hard to pass.
I have a feeling this constipation joke will go over your head.
Constipation jokes: Sometimes, they’re a little too stiff.
I once told a joke about constipation… but it was too stiff to laugh at.
Constipation is like a joke that goes flat, it just doesn’t move.
My constipation jokes are more like an encore, they just keep coming back.
What’s the best cure for constipation? A good laugh… too bad the joke’s stuck.
Why don’t constipated people make good comedians? They can’t get anything out.
The punchline of a constipation joke? It’s all about getting it out.
Sometimes the best jokes are the hardest to get out, especially if it’s about constipation.
I told a joke about constipation, but it was a real hard sell.
What did the constipated comedian say? “I’ll get back to you in a minute.”
I’m convinced that my humor’s backed up, it’s taking forever to get out.
The best joke about constipation? It always leaves you wanting more… and waiting longer.
I’m feeling a little backed up right now, so this joke is on pause.
You know you’ve got constipation when your joke timing is completely off.
I don’t just have constipation – I’ve got some stuck-up jokes too.
Want to hear a good joke about constipation? Sorry, it’s taking its time.
A joke about constipation? I’ve got one, but it’s still in the works.
You can’t hurry humor, especially when it’s stuck in traffic like constipation.
This joke about constipation is going to take a while to get to the punchline.
I once heard a joke about constipation… but it took too long to get to the point.
When you’re constipated, even the funniest jokes feel stuck.
They say humor should flow, but not when you’re constipated.
I think my sense of humor is constipated, nothing’s coming out!
I’ve got a constipation joke on the tip of my tongue… but it’s stuck.
What do you call a constipated joke? A bad one-liner.
I’ve been holding onto this joke about constipation for too long.
You know your jokes are constipated when they’re all backed up.
I could tell you a great joke about constipation, but it’s stuck in the queue.
The best jokes are those that don’t need to be pushed… like constipation.
Want to hear a constipation joke? Give it a moment to pass.
What’s the hardest part of constipation? The wait for the punchline.
You know it’s a bad constipation joke when you have to force the laughter out.
Why do constipated people make terrible stand-up comics? No one can hear their punchlines.
They say good jokes should flow naturally, constipation proves them wrong.
If I had a nickel for every time I made a constipation joke… I’d be backed up with cash!
Why is constipation like a bad joke? Neither can ever seem to get to the point.
A good joke is like digestion, it should never get stuck.
Do you know why constipation jokes are so rare? Because they never come out right away.
I tried to tell a funny constipation joke, but it just didn’t have the same effect.
What do you call a joke about constipation that’s too stuck to finish? An unfinished punchline.
If humor were like digestion, I’d say my jokes are a little backed up.
It’s amazing how constipation can make everything, including jokes, feel stuck.
I have a joke about constipation, but I’m afraid it’ll be too much to handle.
Why did the constipated comedian never perform? Because nothing ever came out right.
I tried telling a joke about constipation, but it just wasn’t coming together.
I have a constipation joke, but it’s still stuck in the queue.
When the joke has constipation, the punchline just doesn’t flow.
The hardest part of telling a constipation joke is getting it out.
You know it’s a bad constipation joke when you have to push it to make it work.
A constipation joke without a punchline is like a bad day at the toilet.
Want to hear a constipation joke? Hold on, I’m still trying to get it out.
My constipation joke has been backed up for hours!
A great joke is like a good bowel movement: it shouldn’t be forced.
Why did the constipated man avoid telling jokes? He could never get them out on time.
I’ve been sitting on this joke for way too long: it’s not coming out!
Constipation jokes are like bad traffic, you’ll never get to the end quickly.
I would tell you a joke, but it’s still stuck in my digestive system.
What do you call a joke that’s stuck? Constipated humor.
Every time I think of a new constipation joke, it gets backed up.
Want to hear a joke? Sorry, it’s stuck in traffic.
Constipation jokes need a little push to get to the punchline.
You know it’s a bad constipation joke when it’s hard to swallow.
A constipated comedian is a person who never delivers.
I tried to crack a constipation joke, but it was just too hard to get out.
I was going to tell a constipation joke, but I couldn’t push it through.
A constipation joke is like an unfinished story: no punchline in sight.
I have a joke about constipation, but it’s taking forever to come out!
Why are constipation jokes so hard to tell? They never flow right.
The best constipation jokes? They take their sweet time to get to the punchline.
Why don’t constipated people ever get to the point? Because it takes forever to pass.
I think I need to “clear the pipes” before I can tell that constipation joke.
A good constipation joke is like a long commute: slow and steady.
When I tried to tell a constipation joke, I couldn’t get it out fast enough!
Sometimes, telling a joke about constipation feels like trying to push a boulder uphill.
Constipation jokes are always a bit slow to come out, just like their subject.
I’ve got a great constipation joke, but it’s stuck in traffic.
Why don’t constipated people make good stand-up comics? Because they’re too backed up to perform!
A joke about constipation is like an old-fashioned car, sometimes it just doesn’t go anywhere.
Do you want a joke that’s backed up? I can give you a constipation one!
You can’t rush a good joke, especially when it’s constipated.
The joke was backed up for hours, so I decided to let it pass.
What did the constipated person say to the comedian? “You need to loosen up.”
When you tell a joke about constipation, make sure it doesn’t get stuck.
Constipation jokes are fun to tell if you’ve got the patience.
My constipation joke was so good, but it took a while to come out.
Some jokes are just too “constipated” to get to the point.
Want a good laugh? You’ll have to wait for this constipation joke to pass.
You can’t rush a constipation joke; it has to come out in its own time.
I once told a constipation joke, but it got stuck halfway through.
Who needs punchlines when you’ve got constipation jokes that take their sweet time?
The worst part about a constipation joke? It never gets to the point fast enough.
Some jokes are born to flow, and some just get constipated!
A good constipation joke is one that’s worth the wait.
Sometimes constipation jokes need a little nudge to get things rolling.
I’d tell you a joke about constipation, but it’s still working its way through.
The punchline of my constipation joke? It’s still trying to make its way out!
What do you call a constipated joke? A delayed punchline.
I’m not saying my joke is constipated, but it’s taking forever to land.
I made a great constipation joke, but it needed a little push to get out.
A constipation joke is like a lazy river, it takes forever to flow.
I’ve been holding this joke for too long; it’s starting to get backed up.
When I make a constipation joke, I can almost hear the crowd groaning… or is that just me?
Why was the constipated person always late for the comedy show? They couldn’t get things moving.
I have a fantastic joke about constipation, but it’s just not coming out right now.
The only thing more constipated than my humor is my digestive system.
When you tell a constipation joke, it’s always a slow burn.
Constipation jokes are like a traffic jam, they take forever to get to the end.
Have you heard about the new constipation joke? It’s still coming out.
I could tell you a constipation joke, but it’s taking forever to pass.
I was going to tell you a joke, but it’s just stuck in the pipeline.
The best constipation jokes are the ones that are worth the wait.
I’m trying to come up with a good joke, but I think it’s constipated.
You know your joke has constipation when it can’t even make it to the punchline.
I’ll be back with a good joke about constipation… just waiting for it to come out!
Why is telling a constipation joke like bad timing? They never come out when you expect them to.
If jokes were like bowel movements, my punchline would still be stuck.
What’s a comedian’s worst nightmare? A constipated joke that never makes it out.
The only thing worse than a constipated joke is one that doesn’t make it to the punchline.
I can’t seem to get this joke out of my system – must be constipation.
I have a constipation joke, but I’ll be honest: it’s taking its time.
Why don’t constipation jokes ever get old? They’re always being reused.
I’ll tell you a joke when my constipation clears up.
Why was the constipation joke so hard to tell? It was stuck in the middle.
I’ve got the perfect joke about constipation, but it needs a little nudge to come out.
My constipation joke is like a slow cooker: it’s taking its sweet time.